the practice of only being
Our Deeper Self, Our Essence
In my early 20s, a friend invited me to a yoga class. I heard yoga was a moving meditation, and I was curious to try it. The hour-and-a-half workout was hard and invigorating, but my expectations changed when the teacher instructed the class to lie down for a final resting posture called a corpse pose. I lay on my back, relaxing deeply with eyes closed, legs and arms apart, palms facing up, when I suddenly experienced a spontaneous out-of-body event. I found myself moving through a light-filled landscape in an endless realm. My name and identity were no longer a part of me, and I felt deeply peaceful. I might have remained there when I heard laughter. I opened my eyes and found myself in yet another world. I turned my head and saw people. One of them, a woman, was smiling. She asked, “Are you back?” I couldn’t recall her or the others in the room. But a powerful clarity remained. I was aware of my existence, without beginning or end, as if that part of me always was and would always be. Memories of my life gradually returned. The smiling woman was my friend; the other people, the teacher, and the yoga studio filled my senses. It was starting to make sense. I had woken from the relaxation of the yoga pose. In those moments away, I experienced a profound awareness that I existed beyond my body and touched the infinite within me. Opening my eyes was like meeting myself for the first time. This moment of discovery revealed my deeper self, my essence.
Each of us has an essence that bridges us to other worlds, which we experience naturally in flashes of insight and intuition. We may not have out-of-body experiences, but we can cultivate connection in small ways. Every person has two selves. The physical self we know—our identity, personality, ego, and body. This self tells our life story. We also have a quiet spiritual self, our essence. This self shows us who we are. When our two selves meet, we experience our spiritual nature. Contact with our deeper selves can offer us moments of enlightenment. Some take walks, stand in a sunset, paint, read a book, dance, or listen to music to touch the infinite within them. The practice of only being tunes us into our deeper selves, our essence, for the benefit of expanded perception beyond our five senses. That’s a huge advantage. Connection is our greatest achievement, and our greatest gift. The stories and exercises in Only Being help you tune in.
Published in Best Holistic Life Magazine, 2025
THE EXERCISE
Step 1:
Begin by sitting in a quiet and comfortable place. Notice the warmth or coolness of the air on your skin and any tension in your body. Paying attention to physical sensations helps to ground you with present-moment awareness. Your essence resides here.
What was your last gut feeling, intuitive moment, or creative insight? That was your essence, the part of you that filters through the noise of thoughts and emotions for clarity. Now, set aside your ego and emotions, and tune into your essence.
Step 2:
Take slow, deep breaths to relax your body and mind. Inhale and exhale comfortably. Visualize oxygen filling your chest, and relax the cells in your body. Be present in the stillness within you.
In this quiet space, sense your essence. You are your essence, connected and whole.
Now, observe your physical self through the lens of your essence.
Step 3:
What are you feeling in this moment? What are the sensations in your body? Are you calm and peaceful, neutral and indifferent, or worried and concerned?
Your essence helps you notice feelings and sensations without judgment. Through the lens of your essence, negative emotions can have less impact, and positive emotions can cultivate confidence. Your essence helps you sort through them to show you what matters.
Take a moment to identify and name the feelings inside you. Happy, sad, anxious, excited, angry, etc. Allow yourself to open your heart, lean in, and listen to your feelings. Be gentle as you let them speak to you.
Say to yourself, “I feel_____________.”
By listening, you pull back the hidden layers of your inner world to feel what’s there. When you take a moment to breathe and be with your feelings, you make it possible to understand them. Understanding offers you acceptance, tuning you into a state of being more deeply connected to the timeless intelligence of your essence. This is where your higher self resides.
Visualize yourself as a facet of your higher self. You are the reflection.
Step 4:
Say to yourself:
“May I feel empathy.”
“May I feel compassion.”
“May I feel love.”
“These feelings come from me, are for me, and for others.”
The energy of empathy, compassion, and love fosters acceptance. Acceptance frees you to be present and gives you a deeper appreciation of yourself and others.
Your essence provides you with resilience, making you emotionally flexible, less judgmental, and more forgiving. By tuning in, you lay the foundation to grow rich with independence and freedom of spirit.